subacute-ness

I have been waiting for my appt for the last 1.5 months. The one where he tells me what is "wrong" with my thyroid. And he says I have Subacute Thyroiditis. This means that now instead of being hyperthyroid, I am hypothyroid until everything resolves itself. It's a disease where the thyroid breaks some follicles (usually due to a viral infection), excess hormone goes everywhere all over, then there is not enough new hormone to replace it, so I swing down into the deep depths of hypothyroidism and then finally, after some time in this dip, everything goes back to normal. "Normal". There is a 90-95% recovery rate, so that is some relief.

However, this does not explain the nodule, which while will be (im) promptly checked in 6 months to: (a) see if it is still there and if it is, (b) do a biopsy. Of course I would like this to be done sooner than this summer, but he says if it's cancer, it won't spread. Oh... whew. Is that honestly suppose to make me feel better???? Now I can rest easy, knowing that my possible cancer is not spreading wildly.

Currently I'm on the downward slide, still yet to hit the ultimate low of hypothyroidism. Where hyperthyroid is motivating, hypothyroid is devastating. Where being hyper brings energy, being hypo brings depression. When I was hyper I was hot, now I'm cold. It's a bad, bad vacation. I wonder if it will get worse and if so, for how long?

This is my response to today so far: the new Mary J Blige cd and new felt pens. And for Valentine's Day I got a great big cleaver. Bring me something to chop into pieces.